But the hardest part so far has been learning Spanish...it is something I so want to do, and my brain some days is good with it, other days it is like it has deleted everything I have learned. I realize the best thing for my brain it to just relax and it retains better…..and the challenge is I have a slight crush on my Spanish teacher…the side of me that wants to impress and be “the good student” well, Spanish is not the place to do that. So I am at a loss to show him my true self. And I get to look at that inside myself…why do I want to impress? And I am used to being a good student and how it challenges me when I don’t feel I am. And I know I am doing great, it just is different. And it is a good thing to look at and feel, as I am so out of my comfort zone with it all…Spanish and being slightly attracted to someone who is my teacher. In my world, you just don’t date your teacher or ask your teacher out! Even though, being a teacher myself I have been asked out many times by students…and my answer is always no… especially in my work, mixing the two, when I hear from friends who do go out on dates, it is a lot of pain and challenge, as they are always in the teacher roll. Which I wouldn’t appreciate.
Yesterday my teacher and I spent the day going to the market, he pushed me to talk to strangers on the Metro, ask for directions, strike up conversations on the street…and he is amazing, he just walks up and talks to everyone, shakes their hands, and he knows so many people here too…it is really amazing to watch him interact here. I watch myself not do that so much as Spanish isn’t my language, well, it isn’t yet anyway. So I see myself held in, as I don’t know how to express myself fully…and then with him there, he is watching me, it was very uncomfortable…what a journey…I felt like being back in grade school, being watched in how I did things…though I don’t remember ever having that experience, though I know I liked doing a good job in school and wanting to get the answers right. So there was pressure.
So my time in Medellin is coming to an end…I am a little sad about this, I have made a few friends here who I will miss. I will miss my teacher the most as I see him at least every other day, and we have so much fun together…I haven’t laughed so much with someone in a very long time. And then my dancing friends… I have made a deep connection with one man here that we are in connection everyday, and though most of our connection is over the phone or texting on Whatsapp, it is nice to know I will see him 1 or 2 times a week to dance…or like tonight I am introducing him to Breathwork and Cuddling! He is from Venezuela…I find the people from there are so kind and most all of them speak excellent English and are so friendly! It is too bad their country is going through so much turmoil right now and isn’t safe to be in. Many have escaped it, some have left alone at a very early age to improve their life!
I have loved getting to know this place…hiking, learning to speak on the street to people to get places…and them being willing to help.
I moved hostels…I love hostel living, I truly do…I love all the people I meet and connections. And the first 20 days I was here the hostel I was in was pristine, clean, brand new, great beds, privacy with curtains and your own fan and light, they made my bed every day and so much...but I didn’t get the warmth of the people staying there…so after my 20 day commit to stay there I moved to a new hostel where all of a sudden I had people in my life, hanging out with them everyday…I asked one man the first night to go to Salsa…he had never been out dancing or to Salsa, but he is 63 and had a new outlook on life and said yes…we had a blast together! The next day I got to explore more of the city with woman…it was lovely to connect, have great conversations and walk for hours and hours! So I am loving my new hostel!
I dance Salsa or Bachate 4 nights a week…and last night I was so tired from talking Spanish all day, but I knew it was my last night to dance here. So I went out…the locals started noticing I am here and our dance started getting more fluid…I really “get” I need to let the man lead, even if he isn’t….great feed back from the teacher! It was so much fun to start really getting the steps and feeling them! And feeling myself surrendering into being lead and feeling what that really felt like with each partner I danced with! As I was leaving the teacher told me he wanted to dance with me tomorrow night…I loved that. It warmed my whole being to have him want to dance with me! I truly felt honored…and it was only my 3rd Salsa class!
I am loving dancing so much, it is feeding me. As well as learning how to feed myself here…as they eat so many friend foods, and full on meals can be all meat and cheese or fried cheese. There are very little vegetarian meals…but I have found them. I found Govinda’s the Hare Krishna restaurant that I eat at in LA…well, I will say, it is nicer then the one in LA…live music playing, lots of menu options…it was just lovely to eat there…all open air and fresh and the pumkin soup was incredible….oh… as side note, my Spanish teacher gives everyone a nickname, he has called me Pumpkin in Spanish, which is Calabaza, what is interesting about this is I was called this as a child, being born so close to Thanksgiving. When I told him that he said “well, we are so similar, I picked up that”. We’d just been talking about how much we have in common when he asked if he could name me and I asked “what would you call me?” and when he came out with Calabaza and told me what it was…I just laughed! So he introduced me as that yesterday in the market!
My heart is happy about being in nature, being in small towns, but I will say Medellin got under my skin…there is something about this place, it is so big and yet so small. I have already ran into locals in different areas of town and felt so welcomed and how small it can feel here and yet it is huge. I really feel I am not a city person, but for a city, this is a wonderful place…with so much to do!
I have loved really getting in touch with “why I am here” in Medellin, I went in and out of seeing the others going out exploring every day when I had homework…and then I got that I am not specifically in Medellin to explore, though I have, I am here to learn Spanish and get some work done on an online course I’m doing. My system just relaxed then take in what I can!
Once I leave here it will be interesting how I will manage the online course, and I am sure it will work out!
Sunday was a full day, I put on a Cuddle and Contact Improv event in the park…the people were all new to all of it, so I was mostly teaching, it was an adventure! They didn’t know about the cuddling thing at all, and I honored they no when it came to cuddling. It was nice to dance though and show them some new things and they loved it! I went off to the Acroyoga class…the teacher found out I taught Contact Improv and wants me to teach him….so wonderful! After the class which was pretty advanced and a lot of fun, I followed them over to the jam! As I walked up my Spanish teacher came right up to me and greeted me! It was amazing to see what all these people could do and how they did it with fluidity or even with mistakes they just had so much fun! I love that!
I could tell this wasn’t my Spanish teachers comfort zone, in fact when I felt him I could feel he was feeling how I feel in Spanish so I asked him if he wanted to fly…he was a bit thrown off as he was had only flown people…so up he went and he was amazing. He flew me and we did a few new things… it was fun to see him outside the classroom and to feel a bit more in my element! I started having a few people ask me to practice with them and then a friend from the US showed up…he and I are meeting up tomorrow…and here he was in the park. Small world… I love this! I flew his friend who was with him and it was just a wonderful connected and tiring day! I danced from 11am-6pm with a 1 hour break! My kind of day…my kind of life really!
I really get that I love living this way, even though I could be doing these things at home… it feels so different here, especially with the language barrier. I have watched my resistance a little with the language thing and going to events, but it hasn’t been too hard amazingly enough. I have watched my shy side come out and it feels so strange, especially in those environments…and I am honoring them…as they are there!
Tomorrow I have to say good bye to my Spanish teacher, I will miss him a lot. He is the person I am closest with here…and that is part of traveling. I will be off to nature after staying the weekend with my friend and his wife over the weekend…so happy I got to learn he lives down here and reconnect!
There is so much more I can share…and I will leave you with this for now!
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