Back in Bali

Being back in Bali is familiar and new all at the same time!
Familiar as I was here once before back in 2007 and I have lots of lovely memories and 2 very challenging ones which had me think I’d never come back here again. The biggest is the place is filled with black magic and being the sensitive being I am I can feel it, literally when they’d shout “Taxi, Taxi, Yes, YES, YES!” It was as it if it was going right into me. Later I found they had corded me to Ubud so I wouldn’t leave, as not many tourists were coming at that time with so many things like bombings, a boat sinking and things that kept the tourist away. So they were trying to keep the ones that were here…well I broke the bond the day I chose to go to Lombok…on the boat ride over I got far enough away that it was disconnected…I felt like I could breathe again and I wasn’t arguing with this 2nd voice in my head to stay and wanting to go.
The second thing is there are lots of wild dogs here, rabies is still a big thing here, which I didn’t know at that time. My first day out I was walking through the rice fields and these wild dogs surrounded me barking violently at me and if it wasn’t for a little old lady coming out and saving me, I don’t know what would have happened and it left a definite edge of fear in me with the animals here. Plus they don’t take care of the animals here…they are all scrawny, mangled and they fight each other all the time.

This time I feel a bit of 2 worlds…I feel all of that with the taxi drivers and a few homeless wanting money…and I feel their need for needing to make and income or to feed themselves…so it feels a bit different. And they aren’t in huge groups like they were before…even though walking down the street I am asked “taxi”? every 1 to 2 minutes and they sometimes think we don’t hear them so they repeat “taxi, yes, yes YES?” It has me want to sit down with each one of them and share our experience that we have already been asked 20 times in the last 30 minutes. I love the ones that have signs now saying “Taxi”, it feels better to just see it!
And the dogs, they are still a bit violent and I have already crossed the street walking home last night to avoid one that was barking in a violent bark!

And then there is something else…after wandering the street, passing temples, humans, dogs, shop after shop…realizing this place is a shopping persons paradise! If you know me you’d know I’m not huge on shopping in the US…but here, Thailand and India, I like it…maybe it is because I have spent life times in places like India, and I’m used to it here. Today I saw a shop, removed my shoes, walked in and was looking at a dress…truth is I knew I wanted it, but looked at other things. Coming back to the dress and asking her price. She came back with “special morning price for you”! Oh, I love that…a sweet voice giving me a special price! I came back with a low price I know she’d never take!
“Oh that is too low, I can’t do that” another offer
I send another offer.
“Oh that is too little, more please madam”.
I repeat my same offer.
She comes up.
I look around a bit and she sells a few things to a passer by.
I gaze right at her and tell her my final price with is right in the middle of hers and mine, she knows I am not budging and I know I have hit the price she wants…she agrees!
I give her the price we are both happy with and I walk out with a bounce in my step! I haven’t haggled in years….I forgot how much I love it!

I walked on looking for the studio that has Contact Improv and Ecstatic Dance…the GPS takes me to the wrong address but this woman tells me where it is! I went back to her restaurant to eat lunch later. The place where all these events happen looks like a huge theater from the outside…I wonder what it will look like on the inside since the dance space isn’t visible from the front. As I walk out, I start dreaming wonderful thoughts of wondering if I’d like to teach there! Of course after I see the space! I am starting to crave to teach again and this seems like a good place to just that…along with finding the place I’m staying as a space I could teach on and 2 massage tables! Feels good to think of working while being here!

I walked back to the the restaurant that told me how to get to the studio and ordered an Avocado juice..which usually comes with chocolate dripped on the side of the glass and on the top with 3 avocados milk and some ice blended and poured into the glass! Hers had no chocolate…and it was still lovely! I got some of their Balinese veggie curry with their incredible tempe, which I remember loving before and still love now! I sat and started to read a book and with peace just pouring in through me and feeling my whole system relax as I read about breathwork and feeling my shoulders drop…there is no where to go, no where to be, but just right here!
Nyoman brought me my juice and asked if I wanted sugar in it. I asked for salt…I mean after all it is avocado, she wrinkled her nose to me doing that. I asked if she’d ever put salt on an avocado, she said no. So indeed this must had been strange for her. My food came within minutes after the juice…it was so quick, the cook said “It is for one”. I sat with that for a bit “only for one”. Yes I have desired to be a 2, and I have been proposed to, first time when I was 13 years old, last time somewhere in my 30’s, but none of them felt right, none of them were a “hell yes” and I want the hell yes if I am going to marry someone. I take commitment very seriously and if I am going to put a ring on it and commit…it better be a Hell Yes for life!

After my food was done..which was incredible! I went back to book, drinking it in. It was so beautiful to have no where to go and now where to be. This is exactly what I am looking for in a part of this journey..to relearn to relax and read a book and follow my desires all day…I do this when I am stable from time to time, and I want to go deeper into it, as well as deeper into many other areas as well so they all feed me! I read until I felt done and walked on…I found a hammock shop…I didn’t know they sold travel hammocks here, it was great to lay in one and cool off! The heat is a bit much after the cooler Colombia as it was in rainy season when I left and LA being cooler as it is October. I just seem to be humid all the time here as I walk down the street and wonder how I am going to have enough clothes without washing them every other day! But then it is shopping heaven here…and believe me my brain is going crazy! I could build a whole new wardrobe here…and then the part of me that was designing my own clothes here when I was here came bubbling up to the surface asking me “do I want to do that again?” And part of me is a hell yes to that! And without having samples it can be very challenging…as that is how it was last time!

I remembered doing some Batiking when I was here last and I am looking for another teacher…as I’d love to do more of that while I’m here..it is such a beautiful art as well as I love dying things…plus a beautiful meditation!

So my first day so far is off to a good start! A mix of all kinds of things!